I'm struggling to catch up with my schoolmates, a few lecturers are looking for me, I have to drag my parents to school to meet the disciplinary advisor and deputy director, I had a violent quarrel with mum, I'm not in talking terms with her, I feel really guilty, my parents are being very hostile towards me lately, I got locked out of the house last night, I was loitering around like a homeless bum, it's exam period, I'm not studying, I screw all 3 of the past papers, I'm broke, I've just realised I twisted my right knee, I'm having runny nose, heaty body, sore throat, lethargy, and nausea. My brain is going to pop out like tomatoes. And how am I going to start training in this condition?

I may look joyful most of the time. But deep inside, I'm filled with so much anger, guilt and anguish. Only God knows. I'm not blaming anyone. I only have myself to blame cos I put myself in this position. I'm not being an emo shit. Cos that's shit. Anyone in my condition right now would be very stressed. But its okay, sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down. I wont stay this way forever. I see light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm going to overdose myself with loads of medicine. Then I'll decide if I should study or sleep.

And still, all I can think of is you.