I, Fariss Haiqel Boulala came to life on 21st February 1991, only God knows why.
Since then, Bengali, Malay, Chinese, Javanese, and football are in my blood.
I'm 1.82metres tall. I'm not heavy but I consider myself a heavyweight in my own world.
I do anything I want and I'll do anything to get what I want.
It's not that I can't accept defeat. I'm just born to win.
I'm as ambitious as Hitler. Fear me not though. I'm a nice guy, really.
But try me if you insists. I would love that.
Some things happen in such sudden. This post and my previous post doesn't compliment each other. You know how I feel about you and you know how you feel about me. After all this while, all that we've gone through, it ended just like that. Unbelievable isn't it. You said you don't want to hurt me already. But this is not making me feel any better. Then let it be. I just hope you're happy now. Hope you'll find that happiness you've been pursuing.
I think I've been man enough to talk things out. We needed to. Things won't hide in the bushes for long. The truth always reveals itself. People see, people talk. I just thought there wasn't a need to lie. I think I've been understanding and open enough. You could have told me honestly earlier. Like you used to. I feel I deserve to at least know who he is. I wanted to hear it from you. Not others. Not by suspecting. I won't restrict you from doing what you want. I'm in no position to do so. I didn't want attention. We have commitments and I think we managed to really understand each other. I just wanted you to make me feel assured. Thats all I ask for. I didn't ask for a departure.
Now, what's left are memories. Memories which make me wish things would be like how it used to be. No point pondering though. It happened before. Things happen for a reason. Mostly good reasons. Its either we're not meant to be or this is for the good of us. Besides, not all goodbyes are farewell forever.
Goodbye, special one. Thanks for everything. I will always treasure and appreciate. Nothing is forgotten. That photo will stay where you placed it.
3.30am last night, I recieved a message from a friend, "Doesn't mean you love someone, you have to be with her."
Saturday, August 29, 2009
If only, I have the power to heal.. I'll erase all pains and make sure you're in perfect health at all times. I'll make sure they never come back so you can sleep peacefully everynight.
And if I can't have that power.. How I wish I can take away all the pain and bear it myself. And I'd be happy enough to see you alright.
Tell me what can I do to make you feel better. I'm all out to help. Be strong.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Its the first time we experience Ramadhan without you. It feels so different. Things are not the way it used to be. I wished I could make better use of those times we had. Its going to be a different atmosphere on Hari Raya.
Beloved grandfather, I appreciate all the things you've done for me. I miss you. Rest in peace. Semoga dicucuri rahmat, diampunkan segala dosa dan ditempatkan bersama orang2 yang beriman. Amin.
Monday, August 24, 2009
I have always loved fasting month. Well, its been only 2 days but already full of blessings. It makes it all so meaningful when you truly fast. Haha! Despite the burden of having so much to think about, happenings at home, in school and such, I think all the things that have made me smile are great enough to weigh down all that sorrows. This positive attitude is really working out.
NFA victors yet again, this time against Geylang Utd, who thinks they're abang2 but were bullied by us, youngsters. Come on, they could only manage to score when we conceided a pathetic penalty. I think I had a decent performance with additional motivation sitting by the stands. Thanks for coming, supporters. Your presence is much appreciated.
Smiles aside now, Real Estate Marketing's tmr. 4 topics down, about 10 more to go. As a motivation, I would like to always be reminded that "Its 3 days of all out or you're out!"
I looked at your face and I left the rest of the world behind.
Friday, August 21, 2009
I have to stop being such a pessimist. Although things are not really going my way, I solely believe in faith. And faith tells me I'll surely be where I want to be one day. I have nothing to worry about. Things are going to be just fine in every single aspects of my life. Be it studies, career, football, love, friends or family. If you think I'm not somebody, you should think again. I've gone this far and I'll go further. I think I've been doing well in everything that I have committed myself into. Nothing can go in between me and whatever I believe is worth committing into. I am very sure I'm mature enough to know what is good and what is bad. And if ever I should fail, I know I've tried my best and if my best is not good enough, then I know that God have prepared me something better in the future. Besides, everything happens for a reason. We, humans are bound for wrong choices but there are never bad choices cos every wrong choice is a good one because they teach you lessons.
I love people around me and I know they don't hate me. I appreciate and treasure them and I want to be real nice to them because if ever any loved ones or even myself have to leave, I want to be remembered for the good things.
From today onwards, when I wake up every morning, the plain white ceiling will tell me that its going to be a great day and everything will be just fine. Then I'll just put a smile on my smelly morning face even if brother bear thinks I'm crazy. :D
Smiles and laughters will drown your sorrows. Alcohol will wake you up the next morning in regret and welcome back all your sorrows you thought you have drowned.
Justin and T.I, the heart of me is strong today.
And Salam Ramadhan!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Sometimes its better you don't study from the start. Sometimes its better you get acceptably poor grades. Sometimes its better you mix with stupid people. Sometimes its better you get into a school where stupid people are. So people dont expect so much from you.
Sometimes its better you dont try too hard. Sometimes its better you dont train too hard. Sometimes its better you do your passion only as a hobby. Sometimes its better you dont get into the elite team. So people wont think too highly of you.
I was about to become somebody. Now I'm nobody. FUCK THE WORLD. FUCK YOU.
And now that I've lost everything, my biggest fear is to lose you.
Mum and Dad, I know you're tired. Please go to sleep ASAP. I need a short runaway. Bye! Nights!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
From the day I got to know you,
I placed a mission for my soul.
To know you.
And provide all the attention you might need.
I just knew there's something about you.
And true enough,
I explored something I never thought I would,
while falling deeper and deeper into your ocean.
All the beautiful corals in it,
developed this burning desire in me,
to stay there forever.
I was never a lover.
I used to laugh at lovers.
I realised I can't anymore
since the day you became a part of me.
That day too,
etched the day I truly care for a girl,
I began trying my extreme best,
to show you how much you mean to me.
And vowed to give all I have.
All the care, concern and unconditional love.
If only you could see yourself in my heart,
you would know how safe you're inside.
And realise you're such a diamond,
my greatest treasure.
So much glare, you'd be blinded by me.
If only you could see how much I love you,
you would want nothing more.
Perhaps you just can't see.
Perhaps one day you'll see,
that I've been standing there all along.
and still standing strong now,
Forever will be,
no matter what it takes.
Nevertheless,
There's always something in between.
Always, always, always.
Adversaries surround you like pirannahs.
Hunting you like you're the only one left.
Yet you would always open your heart.
Most would have given up,
and looked the other way.
Not me.
Helpless, I know I have no right to forbid.
Who am I to you?
Still I stand there,
absorbing all frustration,
and hiding all jealousy.
Knowing deep inside your ocean,
there's something for someone.
Something called love.
And faith tells me that someone is me.
Your Ocean,
Handwritten: FarissHaiqel
You know who you are.
For you know I dont have any other.
Smile baby smile.
Your smile would bring a wider smile in me.
Have always been that way. :D
Treasure you everyday,
Miss you everynight,
Think of you all the time.
Love, Boulala.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Happy Birthday Ali Banggla! :)
If I were to have one wish to be granted right now, I wish there could be more than 24 hours in a day. Because I'm in deep shit.
"Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills men"
Friday, August 14, 2009
My lecturer told me I am very irresposible. My lecturer told me I have a very high chance of getting dismissed from NP. My lecturer told me I am at borderline case for every single modules. One module de-barred. Two more and I'm out. Two more and I am officially hopeless, schoolless and jobless.
And so I'm going to study. Bye.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
I'm back in Singapore! I'm so glad to be back home. I've missed so many people while I was in Vietnam. It was an honour to represent my country. But dissapointed, devastated and heart-broken that we couldn't bring back glory to Singapore. Well, no regrets I guess. We did our very best and showed so much hunger, determination and desire. So we're still proud to hold our heads up high as national youth players. Besides, we managed to achieved good results. Won Cambodia, drew with Australia and unfortunately lost to Thailand by a goal. It was one hell of an experience and a good tournament to prepare ourselves for a more prestigious tournament in Jakarta on November. I should say it was really fun to spend so much time with the team in Vietnam but all were eager to go home on the last few days of our trip. Especially me. Can't stand the mosquitos. And I couldn't wait to meet people I missed like my family, friends and Sukashi. I've got so many pictures to show but I don't understand why I can't post images on blogger. Shit.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
A few more hours to Ho Chi Minh City. chi Bye Singapore! Wish me all the best.
Some things happen in such sudden. This post and my previous post doesn't compliment each other. You know how I feel about you and you know how you feel about me. After all this while, all that we've gone through, it ended just like that. Unbelievable isn't it. You said you don't want to hurt me already. But this is not making me feel any better. Then let it be. I just hope you're happy now. Hope you'll find that happiness you've been pursuing.
I think I've been man enough to talk things out. We needed to. Things won't hide in the bushes for long. The truth always reveals itself. People see, people talk. I just thought there wasn't a need to lie. I think I've been understanding and open enough. You could have told me honestly earlier. Like you used to. I feel I deserve to at least know who he is. I wanted to hear it from you. Not others. Not by suspecting. I won't restrict you from doing what you want. I'm in no position to do so. I didn't want attention. We have commitments and I think we managed to really understand each other. I just wanted you to make me feel assured. Thats all I ask for. I didn't ask for a departure.
Now, what's left are memories. Memories which make me wish things would be like how it used to be. No point pondering though. It happened before. Things happen for a reason. Mostly good reasons. Its either we're not meant to be or this is for the good of us. Besides, not all goodbyes are farewell forever.
Goodbye, special one. Thanks for everything. I will always treasure and appreciate. Nothing is forgotten. That photo will stay where you placed it.
3.30am last night, I recieved a message from a friend, "Doesn't mean you love someone, you have to be with her."
Saturday, August 29, 2009
If only, I have the power to heal.. I'll erase all pains and make sure you're in perfect health at all times. I'll make sure they never come back so you can sleep peacefully everynight.
And if I can't have that power.. How I wish I can take away all the pain and bear it myself. And I'd be happy enough to see you alright.
Tell me what can I do to make you feel better. I'm all out to help. Be strong.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Its the first time we experience Ramadhan without you. It feels so different. Things are not the way it used to be. I wished I could make better use of those times we had. Its going to be a different atmosphere on Hari Raya.
Beloved grandfather, I appreciate all the things you've done for me. I miss you. Rest in peace. Semoga dicucuri rahmat, diampunkan segala dosa dan ditempatkan bersama orang2 yang beriman. Amin.
Monday, August 24, 2009
I have always loved fasting month. Well, its been only 2 days but already full of blessings. It makes it all so meaningful when you truly fast. Haha! Despite the burden of having so much to think about, happenings at home, in school and such, I think all the things that have made me smile are great enough to weigh down all that sorrows. This positive attitude is really working out.
NFA victors yet again, this time against Geylang Utd, who thinks they're abang2 but were bullied by us, youngsters. Come on, they could only manage to score when we conceided a pathetic penalty. I think I had a decent performance with additional motivation sitting by the stands. Thanks for coming, supporters. Your presence is much appreciated.
Smiles aside now, Real Estate Marketing's tmr. 4 topics down, about 10 more to go. As a motivation, I would like to always be reminded that "Its 3 days of all out or you're out!"
I looked at your face and I left the rest of the world behind.
Friday, August 21, 2009
I have to stop being such a pessimist. Although things are not really going my way, I solely believe in faith. And faith tells me I'll surely be where I want to be one day. I have nothing to worry about. Things are going to be just fine in every single aspects of my life. Be it studies, career, football, love, friends or family. If you think I'm not somebody, you should think again. I've gone this far and I'll go further. I think I've been doing well in everything that I have committed myself into. Nothing can go in between me and whatever I believe is worth committing into. I am very sure I'm mature enough to know what is good and what is bad. And if ever I should fail, I know I've tried my best and if my best is not good enough, then I know that God have prepared me something better in the future. Besides, everything happens for a reason. We, humans are bound for wrong choices but there are never bad choices cos every wrong choice is a good one because they teach you lessons.
I love people around me and I know they don't hate me. I appreciate and treasure them and I want to be real nice to them because if ever any loved ones or even myself have to leave, I want to be remembered for the good things.
From today onwards, when I wake up every morning, the plain white ceiling will tell me that its going to be a great day and everything will be just fine. Then I'll just put a smile on my smelly morning face even if brother bear thinks I'm crazy. :D
Smiles and laughters will drown your sorrows. Alcohol will wake you up the next morning in regret and welcome back all your sorrows you thought you have drowned.
Justin and T.I, the heart of me is strong today.
And Salam Ramadhan!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Sometimes its better you don't study from the start. Sometimes its better you get acceptably poor grades. Sometimes its better you mix with stupid people. Sometimes its better you get into a school where stupid people are. So people dont expect so much from you.
Sometimes its better you dont try too hard. Sometimes its better you dont train too hard. Sometimes its better you do your passion only as a hobby. Sometimes its better you dont get into the elite team. So people wont think too highly of you.
I was about to become somebody. Now I'm nobody. FUCK THE WORLD. FUCK YOU.
And now that I've lost everything, my biggest fear is to lose you.
Mum and Dad, I know you're tired. Please go to sleep ASAP. I need a short runaway. Bye! Nights!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
From the day I got to know you,
I placed a mission for my soul.
To know you.
And provide all the attention you might need.
I just knew there's something about you.
And true enough,
I explored something I never thought I would,
while falling deeper and deeper into your ocean.
All the beautiful corals in it,
developed this burning desire in me,
to stay there forever.
I was never a lover.
I used to laugh at lovers.
I realised I can't anymore
since the day you became a part of me.
That day too,
etched the day I truly care for a girl,
I began trying my extreme best,
to show you how much you mean to me.
And vowed to give all I have.
All the care, concern and unconditional love.
If only you could see yourself in my heart,
you would know how safe you're inside.
And realise you're such a diamond,
my greatest treasure.
So much glare, you'd be blinded by me.
If only you could see how much I love you,
you would want nothing more.
Perhaps you just can't see.
Perhaps one day you'll see,
that I've been standing there all along.
and still standing strong now,
Forever will be,
no matter what it takes.
Nevertheless,
There's always something in between.
Always, always, always.
Adversaries surround you like pirannahs.
Hunting you like you're the only one left.
Yet you would always open your heart.
Most would have given up,
and looked the other way.
Not me.
Helpless, I know I have no right to forbid.
Who am I to you?
Still I stand there,
absorbing all frustration,
and hiding all jealousy.
Knowing deep inside your ocean,
there's something for someone.
Something called love.
And faith tells me that someone is me.
Your Ocean,
Handwritten: FarissHaiqel
You know who you are.
For you know I dont have any other.
Smile baby smile.
Your smile would bring a wider smile in me.
Have always been that way. :D
Treasure you everyday,
Miss you everynight,
Think of you all the time.
Love, Boulala.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Happy Birthday Ali Banggla! :)
If I were to have one wish to be granted right now, I wish there could be more than 24 hours in a day. Because I'm in deep shit.
"Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills men"
Friday, August 14, 2009
My lecturer told me I am very irresposible. My lecturer told me I have a very high chance of getting dismissed from NP. My lecturer told me I am at borderline case for every single modules. One module de-barred. Two more and I'm out. Two more and I am officially hopeless, schoolless and jobless.
And so I'm going to study. Bye.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
I'm back in Singapore! I'm so glad to be back home. I've missed so many people while I was in Vietnam. It was an honour to represent my country. But dissapointed, devastated and heart-broken that we couldn't bring back glory to Singapore. Well, no regrets I guess. We did our very best and showed so much hunger, determination and desire. So we're still proud to hold our heads up high as national youth players. Besides, we managed to achieved good results. Won Cambodia, drew with Australia and unfortunately lost to Thailand by a goal. It was one hell of an experience and a good tournament to prepare ourselves for a more prestigious tournament in Jakarta on November. I should say it was really fun to spend so much time with the team in Vietnam but all were eager to go home on the last few days of our trip. Especially me. Can't stand the mosquitos. And I couldn't wait to meet people I missed like my family, friends and Sukashi. I've got so many pictures to show but I don't understand why I can't post images on blogger. Shit.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
A few more hours to Ho Chi Minh City. chi Bye Singapore! Wish me all the best.
