I, Fariss Haiqel Boulala came to life on 21st February 1991, only God knows why.
Since then, Bengali, Malay, Chinese, Javanese, and football are in my blood.
I'm 1.82metres tall. I'm not heavy but I consider myself a heavyweight in my own world.
I do anything I want and I'll do anything to get what I want.
It's not that I can't accept defeat. I'm just born to win.
I'm as ambitious as Hitler. Fear me not though. I'm a nice guy, really.
But try me if you insists. I would love that.
I gave away my Nike kits, boots and tights to my friends. Thought I wont be using them for a really long time anyway.
But I'll come back stronger. There's Batman. And there's also Batman Returns.
Friday, September 25, 2009
No scan today. My knee was too swollen, they couldn't identify the torn ligament. But I was told by the doctor its either acl, meniscus or both. But Hwee Khoon said maybe an mcl. So which one? CB. I have to make a return to the hospital days after and if its still too swollen, they'll have to suck up all the blood in it, scan and identify, then proceed with the operation maybe one or two months from now. This is really troublesome. Travelling here and there, spending hours, limping and everyone looking at me and my pathetic leg. I've got all the unwanted attention I don't need.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
So I went to FAS bulding to meet Hwee Khoon this morning. And guess what. Its worse than I thought. Its a suspected ACL. A definite goodbye to AFC Jakarta, Polite Games and IVP Games. Considerably, goodbye to Football. My heart sank upon hearing. For those who have no idea about ACL, its actually a layer of tissue between your knees which allows joint movements. And a torn ACL means you can't run, jump or kick till you recover. And there will be loads of surgeries, therapy and rehabilitation. Its one of Footballers' worst fears. Some take 3 years to recover. And even after recovery, you might not play as well as you used to. Most would end their career. Cos there will always be phobea when going into tackles or such. I'll be going to Changi hospital very early next morning to scan it before going back to Jalan Besar for another treament with the physio. So all the caring people, pray hard for me. Pray its not an ACL. A PCL, MCL or meniscus tear is acceptable enough. Although all are severe injuries.
Once, a young boy had a dream.
A dream of all his many dreams.
Today, its shaterred.
Tomorrow, he might have to forget the dream.
And dump all the years of hardwork and sacrifice.
Helpless, he can only pray to The Almighty.
Tears yet again.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Do I look happy? No, I don't.
And this is why:
We were playing against Woodlands Wellingtons. Only 10mins after the kick-off, I attempted to tackle this keleng winger. But I accidentally planted my left foot to the cowgrass and twisted my left knee. Fell to the ground instantly and I screamed in pain. Really, it was painful. My teammates sitting at the bench, about 15 metres away could hear the crack sound while I twisted my knee. Siak uh! I almost cried. Naseb baek tak. So I was carried off the pitch by a stretcher. And my physio Wendy told me its a meniscus injury and I might have to say goodbye to AFC Jakarta this November. But she wasn't sure how minor or major it is. So I'll be seeing the master of all local physiotherapists, Ms Hwee Khoon first thing tmr morning. Then see what she has to say. Aqhari's meniscus injury have not recovered even after months of rehab. And he went through surgeries and had to walk on crutches(however u spell it). If mine's similar to his injury, I might consider ending my football carrer at this beginning. Cos even if I make it to the AFC squad, I'll probably be warming the bench obviously because I would be out of training and unfit for international matches. And even when I've recovered, I might not be able to play as well as I used to.
Everything's going against me lately, aye? Shit happens. But shit happens to me all the time. So tell me what's next? What a retribution for teasing dear Clement. Well, life's a bitch then you die. Any questions?
Blaja habes, bola habes, nak keje dah tak bleh, kaki pon dah tempang(naseb baek Mas Selamat da kene tangkap) Hari2 lepak, hanyutkan diri lagi swee! Ok, bye cheebye!
Monday, September 21, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Is it raya tmr? Oh, yes it is. Haha! I've been too occupied and time flies by so quick, I didn't even realise its been 30 days of fasting. Oh, no. 24 days for me. Don't look at me that way. Okay pe. 24/30 is a pass. Haha! And I realised my hair is still damn long and thick. A lizard can get lost in it. I'm in deep deep shit. I won't look good in a songkok tmr. I need to get it cut asap. Okay, I go now. Bye.
Oh, wait. I forgot the most important part. I would like to wish Selamat Hari Raya to all muslims! And to friends, family and loved ones, forgive all my wrong-doings towards you guys. Peace! And enjoi!
And to rakan2 setanku. Harap maafkan segala dosa dan salah silap terhadap u guys, cb! Pape makan minom atau kasar bahase, harap dihalalkan dan dilupakan. Baik minuman halal atau yang haram. Aku confem ulang lagi salah silap aku. So next year mintak maaf lagi k. Bye! Nizamuddin! Mane kau? Aku nak gunting!
Friday, September 18, 2009
I'm listening to St 12's Saat Terakhir on repeat, the first track on my playlist. Listening carefully to the lyrics and going deep into the meaning of each line, it flashes back memories and fill me with so much emotions, knowing it really was the end.
Now dig this. I got 1 module debarred, failed 4 modules, and passed only 3. My GPA for this semester is 0.48. Yeah, you heard that right, mothafucka. 0.48 out of 4. Tell me how I'm gonna break this to my parents. Maybe I dont have to, cos I don't want to upset them. I don't know if I'm repeating the failed modules or if I'm expelled. Because by right, if I fail more than 3 modules, I'll get dismissed from the polytechnic. By left, don't ask me. Both ways, I'm still either a school drop-out or the worst student in Ngee Ann Poly. I can't keep asking myself what happened to my life because I deserve this for being lazy and irresponsible. Its been forseeable. So fuck me.
On the bright side, we lost against Tampines Rovers just now. Which means we're out of the FA Cup. Hooray! Lesser competitions to commit to. -.-
And to you, thanks for showing such concern. Your littlest efforts can make me smile and stare for a while. I'll be fine, no worries. In this condition, sometimes, I wish you're still here telling me to stand up. Like you always used to. But nice to know you've been smiling.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
There's blood in my left ear again. This time its getting painful. There's so much pain in me. Some visible, some not. Some will heal. Some will never or take a long time. But no pain, no gain, no right?
12 hours of work tmr. I'm more shagged than Austin Powers. But I need to get what I want. I'm working my socks off. Then again, no pain no gain. Somebody, remind me to sleep early. Please.
You wouldn't would you?
Looks like I've encountered one of my biggest fears.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Three cheers for Jappan Zika Arabia Radon who slept in his pool of vomit last night! And the other guy, he's Hanis Jazil Khus Khus, who's probably in a lock up cell right now. Hahaha! Slenger nak mampos! Macam nak sepak je pakai sudu. Dah lah songsang.
Didn't go home, barely slept, work and trained every single day without fail. And work again tmr morning, then go for my match after that. 3 matches in a week, I tell you! AFF Tournament ended a month ago. But no rest. Prime league, FA Cup, Polite games, Jakarta AFC Championship and then IVP. All at one go! Not including daily trainings and friendly games. And then the new season starts right after. And still, every young boy dream of living a footballer's life.
I'm so friggin ttttttiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrreeeeeeedddddd. -.-
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Recent days have been exhausting. Work, trainings and matches non-stop. And so little rest. But I managed to keep myself occupied, and laughters and smiles filled these days although its been real hectic. Work burned 2 fasting days! Damn it! I wanted to make it through the whole month, really, I swear. But. But really la. Very tiring and I get frequent headaches at work. On a brighter note, these bucks will help me earn my driver's license in no time. Woooo!
Maybe if I can fly high enough, the clouds will drift me away. But the sun still shines so bright, seldom its cloudy.
Friday, September 11, 2009
I had fun shaving Mandek's hair at 4am. This abang reported for NS a few hours ago. I don't know how he's going to survive with his stinky attitide but I wish him all the best! Will miss you!
And speaking of hair, I think I'll cut my hair real short before raya. I have been keeping the same hairstyle for ages. Some changes are necessary right? A fresh new look will make you guys go "Woah!", I guess. Haha! Enjoi.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
Why does it take a minute to say hello and forever to say goodbye?
And where is the "good" in goodbye?
Never say goodbye when you still want to try, never give up when you still feel you can't take it. Never say you don't love the person anymore when you can't let go.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Its holidays, a long one. And I need to remind myself constantly that its not a lonely september. Gonna keep myself occupied 24/7. I need a friggin job! Anyone? Pleassseee.. A decent one. And oh, I need to add some mass and solid to my body. But I dont need weights or gym. Just a pail fully filled with water and enough space in the bathroom, everytime I bathe.
And get well soon, handicapped Clement. You can't chase me. Haha!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Now that it's over, I'm looking forward. Yes it was a mistake. People make mistakes. Now this is a big one to take. But I can't live in regrets. I have all my life to live. I know I'll be where I want to be. People have high expectations of me and I have to live up to them. I know I will. This wont hinder me. Its just a setback. I fell down. But I'm already up, moving forward. Everything happens for a reason. God promised that, with everything that is lost, a better one will be replaced. So I'll keep faith. Feelings will linger on but maybe you were right. Time will heal. So I'll forget. One day, I might come across you and say, "hey, she's still as beautiful." For now, beautiful is everywhere. And I'll be everywhere keeping myself occupied. This way, its easier to forget. Farewell.
"That part of me left yesterday, the heart of me is strong today. No regrets, I'm blessed to say, the old me dead and gone away."
"I turn my head to the east I dont see nobody by my side. I turn my head to the west still nobody in sight. So I turn my head to the north, swallow that pill that they call pride. That old me is dead and gone, but the new me will be alright."
Swallow.
Friday, September 4, 2009
I deleted my previous post. It was one of my biggest mistakes.
I'm sorry. I'm not blaming you. It was never your fault. Perhaps I made someone dearest to me sound bad when you were actually the best thing that ever happened to me. I was wrong. The truth is, all this happened because I'm just one pathetic jealous guy. Not because I want this. I found my worst regret. And I have to mend this.
Heart-broken, I can't run away from the truth. This hurts a million times more.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
I skipped training today. I thought I had plans. Now I'm bored to death. I think I should go for training now but I guess it's too late. Right? I don't know. Argh! I think I need a job. I need to start driving. Vrooommmm!!! I'm getting jealous. :(
What a boring random post!
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
A well-deserved treat right after hard work in training. Popcorns, potato chips, coke, Final Destination 3D, companions and Herwinda(I don't know who) made the day. Great movie, but not for the faint-hearted. I think there should be more movies available in 3D. It makes you wanna grab all the stuffs you see and dodge left, dodge right. And with the right group of friends, you can enjoy being the most rowdiest yet irritating group of people in the cinema. 3 cheers for today!
Too bad we can't time travel.
But If you wait and see long enough, people can slowly dissapear.
People change. That's why I don't.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
I couldn't sleep last night. I only managed to sleep at 8am in the morning. Woke up at 5 and realised I was late for training. Was reluctant to go but managed to pull myself together though. While I was rushing on my way to training, this nice lady from NP rang me. She said I have to settle my outstanding school fees of 30cents or I won't get to view my results and will not eligible for next semester.. 30cents I repeat. This is crazy. Nice lady, can you please help me pay that pathetic 30cents, so I don't have to trouble myself to school unreasonably.
Although I was only early enough to train for a few minutes and had my breakfast after that, I am so friggin exhausted. Almost fainted I swear. I need a nice warm massage. Anyone?
I gave away my Nike kits, boots and tights to my friends. Thought I wont be using them for a really long time anyway.
But I'll come back stronger. There's Batman. And there's also Batman Returns.
Friday, September 25, 2009
No scan today. My knee was too swollen, they couldn't identify the torn ligament. But I was told by the doctor its either acl, meniscus or both. But Hwee Khoon said maybe an mcl. So which one? CB. I have to make a return to the hospital days after and if its still too swollen, they'll have to suck up all the blood in it, scan and identify, then proceed with the operation maybe one or two months from now. This is really troublesome. Travelling here and there, spending hours, limping and everyone looking at me and my pathetic leg. I've got all the unwanted attention I don't need.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
So I went to FAS bulding to meet Hwee Khoon this morning. And guess what. Its worse than I thought. Its a suspected ACL. A definite goodbye to AFC Jakarta, Polite Games and IVP Games. Considerably, goodbye to Football. My heart sank upon hearing. For those who have no idea about ACL, its actually a layer of tissue between your knees which allows joint movements. And a torn ACL means you can't run, jump or kick till you recover. And there will be loads of surgeries, therapy and rehabilitation. Its one of Footballers' worst fears. Some take 3 years to recover. And even after recovery, you might not play as well as you used to. Most would end their career. Cos there will always be phobea when going into tackles or such. I'll be going to Changi hospital very early next morning to scan it before going back to Jalan Besar for another treament with the physio. So all the caring people, pray hard for me. Pray its not an ACL. A PCL, MCL or meniscus tear is acceptable enough. Although all are severe injuries.
Once, a young boy had a dream.
A dream of all his many dreams.
Today, its shaterred.
Tomorrow, he might have to forget the dream.
And dump all the years of hardwork and sacrifice.
Helpless, he can only pray to The Almighty.
Tears yet again.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Do I look happy? No, I don't.
And this is why:
We were playing against Woodlands Wellingtons. Only 10mins after the kick-off, I attempted to tackle this keleng winger. But I accidentally planted my left foot to the cowgrass and twisted my left knee. Fell to the ground instantly and I screamed in pain. Really, it was painful. My teammates sitting at the bench, about 15 metres away could hear the crack sound while I twisted my knee. Siak uh! I almost cried. Naseb baek tak. So I was carried off the pitch by a stretcher. And my physio Wendy told me its a meniscus injury and I might have to say goodbye to AFC Jakarta this November. But she wasn't sure how minor or major it is. So I'll be seeing the master of all local physiotherapists, Ms Hwee Khoon first thing tmr morning. Then see what she has to say. Aqhari's meniscus injury have not recovered even after months of rehab. And he went through surgeries and had to walk on crutches(however u spell it). If mine's similar to his injury, I might consider ending my football carrer at this beginning. Cos even if I make it to the AFC squad, I'll probably be warming the bench obviously because I would be out of training and unfit for international matches. And even when I've recovered, I might not be able to play as well as I used to.
Everything's going against me lately, aye? Shit happens. But shit happens to me all the time. So tell me what's next? What a retribution for teasing dear Clement. Well, life's a bitch then you die. Any questions?
Blaja habes, bola habes, nak keje dah tak bleh, kaki pon dah tempang(naseb baek Mas Selamat da kene tangkap) Hari2 lepak, hanyutkan diri lagi swee! Ok, bye cheebye!
Monday, September 21, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Is it raya tmr? Oh, yes it is. Haha! I've been too occupied and time flies by so quick, I didn't even realise its been 30 days of fasting. Oh, no. 24 days for me. Don't look at me that way. Okay pe. 24/30 is a pass. Haha! And I realised my hair is still damn long and thick. A lizard can get lost in it. I'm in deep deep shit. I won't look good in a songkok tmr. I need to get it cut asap. Okay, I go now. Bye.
Oh, wait. I forgot the most important part. I would like to wish Selamat Hari Raya to all muslims! And to friends, family and loved ones, forgive all my wrong-doings towards you guys. Peace! And enjoi!
And to rakan2 setanku. Harap maafkan segala dosa dan salah silap terhadap u guys, cb! Pape makan minom atau kasar bahase, harap dihalalkan dan dilupakan. Baik minuman halal atau yang haram. Aku confem ulang lagi salah silap aku. So next year mintak maaf lagi k. Bye! Nizamuddin! Mane kau? Aku nak gunting!
Friday, September 18, 2009
I'm listening to St 12's Saat Terakhir on repeat, the first track on my playlist. Listening carefully to the lyrics and going deep into the meaning of each line, it flashes back memories and fill me with so much emotions, knowing it really was the end.
Now dig this. I got 1 module debarred, failed 4 modules, and passed only 3. My GPA for this semester is 0.48. Yeah, you heard that right, mothafucka. 0.48 out of 4. Tell me how I'm gonna break this to my parents. Maybe I dont have to, cos I don't want to upset them. I don't know if I'm repeating the failed modules or if I'm expelled. Because by right, if I fail more than 3 modules, I'll get dismissed from the polytechnic. By left, don't ask me. Both ways, I'm still either a school drop-out or the worst student in Ngee Ann Poly. I can't keep asking myself what happened to my life because I deserve this for being lazy and irresponsible. Its been forseeable. So fuck me.
On the bright side, we lost against Tampines Rovers just now. Which means we're out of the FA Cup. Hooray! Lesser competitions to commit to. -.-
And to you, thanks for showing such concern. Your littlest efforts can make me smile and stare for a while. I'll be fine, no worries. In this condition, sometimes, I wish you're still here telling me to stand up. Like you always used to. But nice to know you've been smiling.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
There's blood in my left ear again. This time its getting painful. There's so much pain in me. Some visible, some not. Some will heal. Some will never or take a long time. But no pain, no gain, no right?
12 hours of work tmr. I'm more shagged than Austin Powers. But I need to get what I want. I'm working my socks off. Then again, no pain no gain. Somebody, remind me to sleep early. Please.
You wouldn't would you?
Looks like I've encountered one of my biggest fears.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Three cheers for Jappan Zika Arabia Radon who slept in his pool of vomit last night! And the other guy, he's Hanis Jazil Khus Khus, who's probably in a lock up cell right now. Hahaha! Slenger nak mampos! Macam nak sepak je pakai sudu. Dah lah songsang.
Didn't go home, barely slept, work and trained every single day without fail. And work again tmr morning, then go for my match after that. 3 matches in a week, I tell you! AFF Tournament ended a month ago. But no rest. Prime league, FA Cup, Polite games, Jakarta AFC Championship and then IVP. All at one go! Not including daily trainings and friendly games. And then the new season starts right after. And still, every young boy dream of living a footballer's life.
I'm so friggin ttttttiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrreeeeeeedddddd. -.-
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Recent days have been exhausting. Work, trainings and matches non-stop. And so little rest. But I managed to keep myself occupied, and laughters and smiles filled these days although its been real hectic. Work burned 2 fasting days! Damn it! I wanted to make it through the whole month, really, I swear. But. But really la. Very tiring and I get frequent headaches at work. On a brighter note, these bucks will help me earn my driver's license in no time. Woooo!
Maybe if I can fly high enough, the clouds will drift me away. But the sun still shines so bright, seldom its cloudy.
Friday, September 11, 2009
I had fun shaving Mandek's hair at 4am. This abang reported for NS a few hours ago. I don't know how he's going to survive with his stinky attitide but I wish him all the best! Will miss you!
And speaking of hair, I think I'll cut my hair real short before raya. I have been keeping the same hairstyle for ages. Some changes are necessary right? A fresh new look will make you guys go "Woah!", I guess. Haha! Enjoi.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
Why does it take a minute to say hello and forever to say goodbye?
And where is the "good" in goodbye?
Never say goodbye when you still want to try, never give up when you still feel you can't take it. Never say you don't love the person anymore when you can't let go.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Its holidays, a long one. And I need to remind myself constantly that its not a lonely september. Gonna keep myself occupied 24/7. I need a friggin job! Anyone? Pleassseee.. A decent one. And oh, I need to add some mass and solid to my body. But I dont need weights or gym. Just a pail fully filled with water and enough space in the bathroom, everytime I bathe.
And get well soon, handicapped Clement. You can't chase me. Haha!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Now that it's over, I'm looking forward. Yes it was a mistake. People make mistakes. Now this is a big one to take. But I can't live in regrets. I have all my life to live. I know I'll be where I want to be. People have high expectations of me and I have to live up to them. I know I will. This wont hinder me. Its just a setback. I fell down. But I'm already up, moving forward. Everything happens for a reason. God promised that, with everything that is lost, a better one will be replaced. So I'll keep faith. Feelings will linger on but maybe you were right. Time will heal. So I'll forget. One day, I might come across you and say, "hey, she's still as beautiful." For now, beautiful is everywhere. And I'll be everywhere keeping myself occupied. This way, its easier to forget. Farewell.
"That part of me left yesterday, the heart of me is strong today. No regrets, I'm blessed to say, the old me dead and gone away."
"I turn my head to the east I dont see nobody by my side. I turn my head to the west still nobody in sight. So I turn my head to the north, swallow that pill that they call pride. That old me is dead and gone, but the new me will be alright."
Swallow.
Friday, September 4, 2009
I deleted my previous post. It was one of my biggest mistakes.
I'm sorry. I'm not blaming you. It was never your fault. Perhaps I made someone dearest to me sound bad when you were actually the best thing that ever happened to me. I was wrong. The truth is, all this happened because I'm just one pathetic jealous guy. Not because I want this. I found my worst regret. And I have to mend this.
Heart-broken, I can't run away from the truth. This hurts a million times more.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
I skipped training today. I thought I had plans. Now I'm bored to death. I think I should go for training now but I guess it's too late. Right? I don't know. Argh! I think I need a job. I need to start driving. Vrooommmm!!! I'm getting jealous. :(
What a boring random post!
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
A well-deserved treat right after hard work in training. Popcorns, potato chips, coke, Final Destination 3D, companions and Herwinda(I don't know who) made the day. Great movie, but not for the faint-hearted. I think there should be more movies available in 3D. It makes you wanna grab all the stuffs you see and dodge left, dodge right. And with the right group of friends, you can enjoy being the most rowdiest yet irritating group of people in the cinema. 3 cheers for today!
Too bad we can't time travel.
But If you wait and see long enough, people can slowly dissapear.
People change. That's why I don't.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
I couldn't sleep last night. I only managed to sleep at 8am in the morning. Woke up at 5 and realised I was late for training. Was reluctant to go but managed to pull myself together though. While I was rushing on my way to training, this nice lady from NP rang me. She said I have to settle my outstanding school fees of 30cents or I won't get to view my results and will not eligible for next semester.. 30cents I repeat. This is crazy. Nice lady, can you please help me pay that pathetic 30cents, so I don't have to trouble myself to school unreasonably.
Although I was only early enough to train for a few minutes and had my breakfast after that, I am so friggin exhausted. Almost fainted I swear. I need a nice warm massage. Anyone?
